Does Your Child Need To Go To Preschool?

February 13th, 2010 - 11:27 pm ≡ by admin ≡ in preschool
preschool

Preschool

There is a simple answer to this complex question. No.

Children don’t need preschool to gain admission to kindergarten or to succeed in life. In fact, the wrong preschool experience could potentially set a child back by creating a negative perception of school, learning, and socializing. However the right preschool experience can give a child a headstart academically and socially over peers without preschool.

In order to make the right choice for your child you need to look at what a preschool program should do for children. Ideally, preschool should help integrate children socially so they learn about the rules and structures of society in general and school society in particular. In addition, preschool helps students begin a foundation of academic knowledge including literacy, numbers, and culture.

The actual content, focus, and structure of preschool programs varies widely from community to community (and often even within communities) but most programs achieve these two primary goals for students. However a parent can easily accomplish similar goals without the confines of a specific preschool program.

Obviously many families need to arrange some type of day care for the preschool age children and if this is the case then it often makes sense to combine day care and preschool. Children who regularly attend day care programs with other children are less likely to need the social aspects of a preschool education. They likely learned how to play with others, the rules of sharing, and how to follow instructions and other key social lessons. Similarly children who belong to a large family or live in a neighborhood where a group of children regularly interact need less social education than children who do not regularly interact with their peers. Parents can replicate these social situations by seeking out play groups and community activities.



It is fairly easy to create a home preschool program for children. There are packaged curriculums available for purchase, materials available from local libraries, and information available on the internet. You can choose a program created entirely by someone else or create your own individual program to suit you and your child. Some television programs even offer additional material on the internet to supplement programming that would be suitable for a homeschooling project.

A motivated parent can certainly create a quality preschool program for their child that exceeds the results of any professional program. It is simply important to keep in mind your primary goals. What do you want your child to learn? What skills do you want your child to master? Do you simply want to prepare your child for kindergarten or do you have more advanced goals in mind?

The right preschool program can definitely give children a head start on long-term educational success, but not all programs are created equal and sometimes even a wonderful preschool program isn’t right for certain children. Some children may benefit more from spending another year or two in a more nurturing atmosphere, such as home or a small day care. When making the preschool decision it is important to consider the individual child as well as the individual programs available. It is not a one-size-fits-all decision.

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This is How I Teach My Children to be Grateful for What They Have

February 13th, 2010 - 11:10 am ≡ by admin ≡ in child, grateful, kids, parenting, teaching
Grateful

Grateful

Here are some easy ways to incorporate instilling the virtue of gratitude in your children. As you go through your day, show them, the wonderful events going on behind the scenes that we all most usually take for granted.

1. Set the Right Example.

It is better if you teach them by using the appropriate words at the right times yourself.  How many parents do you see saying “Thank You” to there two or three year old children. It is through example that kids learn best, and teaching gratitude is no different than anything else in that respect. “Children Learn What They Live!”

2. Teach It Through Role Playing.

You can play games with your children that implement the virtue of gratitude. Play the second chair and practice showing them how it feels to be on the receiving end of an unexpected, “Thank You!”

3. Teach by Showing Them How to Be of Service to Others.

Even simple things such as holding a door for an elderly person, are small ways we can show them how others appreciate us and our actions. It is also a way to put a smile and a lift into a strangers day, which always creates a good feeling within the person who is doing the kind act as well.
You would be surprised how many times a simple gesture like this can occur in your normal day activities, in places like grocery stores, doctors offices, or shopping trips.

4. Make a List.

An easy way to get them to make lists of what they are thankful for is to use “The Daily Gratitude Journal Software” You will find a link to this software in the resource box at the end of this article. There are two versions, one written in “kid language and displaying an output of “kid fonts” and an adult version as well.
5. Teach Gratitude While Going Without Things.

Recently my single family of three kids and myself had to deal with a full 24 hours of no power. This outage caused by a wind storm, was an ideal opportunity for me to teach them what we had to be thankful for that we normally took for granted. Simple things like, lights, heat, and being able to watch Tv, were just a few that quickly came to mind.

6. Show them How to Be Thankful for the Little Things in Life.

As in the previous example, although, most of us would not consider heat and light little things, they are things that are always there for our kids, so they are simple things that they usually don’t pay much attention too.

Other simple examples could include; having food to eat all the time, friends to play with, and having plenty of toys and school supplies. Showing them examples of third world country children who go without these things is a way of teaching them appreciation for what they have, too.

7. Teach them to see the good in someone they don’t like.

You can even use a negative experience to teach them the value of being grateful. When I think of this, immediately what comes to my mind is the Walt Disney movie, “PollyAnna” where she played the “Glad” game and found many things to be grateful for in every situation she encountered. Renting this video, watching and discussing it with them would be a great, gratitude building quality time family activity.

As you go through your day, show them, the wonderful events going on behind the scenes that we all most usually take for granted. Things like the police, who protect us, the firemen who are there for those who need them, and the clerk at the grocery store doing her job to help us get our food. Simple thank you comments to all of these daily activities is the easiest way to role model appreciation that they will learn and emulate.

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Disciplining for each Child

February 12th, 2010 - 12:38 am ≡ by admin ≡ in child, Disciplining, kids
Disciplining for each Child

Disciplining Child

There are many books with varying opinions on how you should discipline your children.  However, I believe that the person that knows your child best is you.  Articles and books can give advice, but it is important to understand your child and what will work for them.
Not all children are the same, and this applies to children in the same family.  Using time out for one child may not work for another.  It’s important to understand this and not try to force the same discipline on a child that it won’t work for.

A friend of mine has a child who defies all the rules of discipline and parenting.  He had a problem biting and she asked me for advice.  I told her every method I have ever heard of to stop a child from biting, and she had tried them all.  She had to take the time to understand him and find out what works for him.

Disciplining children is important.  They need to understand that there are rules, and when they break the rules, there are consequences.  However, understandably, the discipline should not use force that could be harmful to the child.  When properly disciplined, a child will learn tools that will help them throughout their lives.

The discipline should also relate to the act.  If a child colors all over a wall, they should have to clean up the mess.  If they are too small, give them some time to try alone and then help them.  Make sure it isn’t a game to them, they need to understand that they are in trouble.
Understanding your child and finding out what discipline works for them will help them become well adjusted as they get older, and help your household to run smoother.

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Signs of Autism

February 11th, 2010 - 10:34 pm ≡ by admin ≡ in autism, parenting
autism

Autism child. by AFP PHOTO/LIU Jin

With all the recent publicity of Autism in the news you might be wondering what are the signs of Autism. Here are a list of signs that can be associated to Autism. If you see these signs in your child speak to their doctor about having them evaluated. The sooner that Autism is discovered the better the chances are at treating it.

1. Does not reach developmental milestones on time. Each child develops differently. Some children will crawl at four months while others will not until they are several months older. This can be perfectly normal. The problem starts when every milestone is much later than usual. If your child is not meeting the developmental stages talk with their doctor.

2. Child does not talk. Children learn to talk at different ages. Some will start talking very young  while others will just start blurting out whole sentences one day. This can be very normal. However if your child does not have any babbling type talk by the age of one this could be a cause for concern. Most children will says some words by the time they are sixteen months. If your child is not ask their doctor if they think an evaluation is necessary.


3. No eye contact.  Most babies and children will look at you when you are talking to them. Autistic children will often not give you eye contact. It will appear they are looking off into a daze instead of paying attention to you. They will not point to objects. They will not look at something you are trying to show them. Instead they look past it.

4. Child does not show emotion. Autistic children often do not show any emotion. They do not smile back when a person smiles at them. They do not show any cares when someone around them is expressing pain, or crying. The Autistic child does not usually like to be held or cuddled. They will not reach up for their parents to hold them.

5. Likes to play by their self. The Autistic child usually will play alone. They feel more comfortable being by them self. They have a hard time making friends. They do not know how to relate to other kids. They do not understand when another child is joking with them. They take everything said to them literally.

6. The child loses skills the knew. The child may have learned to talk and then it seems as if they forgot how. They can learn a new skill and then a week later have no idea how to do it. Autistic children often lose skills they have learned.

These are just a few of the signs of Autism. If you notice any of  them in your children talk to their doctor. All children with Autism will not have every sign. Getting them diagnosed as soon as possible will allow treatment to begin sooner. Getting your child evaluated as soon as you suspect a problem is very important. Even if there is nothing wrong it is better to be safe. The earlier treatment can be started the better for the child.

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Choosing good friends

February 11th, 2010 - 12:12 am ≡ by admin ≡ in communication, family, friends
Good friend

Friends

Friends are an important part of childhood and you want to make sure that your child develops good friendships early on.  It’s easiest to make the best choices for your children while they are young.

Have your children invite their friends to play at your house.  This gives you a chance to see how they play together and how they interact with other members of your family.  Become acquainted with their parents also, and you will find that this will help you understand their family situation.  Help your child to understand what your values are and to recognize the same values in friends that they make.

Teach your kids values that are important to you, like being honest, and make sure they understand that it applies to friends too.  I had a daughter who came to me because a friend wanted her to lie to me about going to the mall.  She told me what she really wanted to do, and what her friend thought she should say.  After her friend went home that day, we talked about what makes a good friend.  She decided that she didn’t want a friend that was going to try to get her to lie.

Realize that all children are different.  You might have a child that has fifteen friends and makes new friends easily.  Then you might have another child who only has one or two friends, but has a closer friendship with them.  Recognize what works for your child and help them develop the relationships that fit with their own personality.

Helping your child understand how to be a good friend will help them recognize good friends also.  It is so much easier to influence your children while they are young.  Take advantage of these opportunities while you can.

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Making new Friends

February 10th, 2010 - 10:56 pm ≡ by admin ≡ in friends
Make Friends

Kids Club

There are times when your child will need to learn how to make new friends.  These times include when they starting school or changing to a new school, if you move, or if people have moved into your neighborhood.  This can be scary for some kids.  Here are some ways to help your child make new friends.

Give them something to do with the new friend.  Asking another child to play in the sprinklers is less intimidating than just asking them to play.  Your child will not have to worry about thinking of something to do when the friend comes over.

Find instances when your child can talk to other children.  When you go to the park, help your child say hi and be friendly to other kids.  This will help them get over the shyness that can come when talking to someone they don’t know.

Make friends with the parents of new neighbors, and invite them and their children over.  This can be less stressful for your kids and give them the confidence they need.  You are close by, and they can watch you make new friends as well.  Your example can teach them.

Start out by having cousins come play if possible.  If your child hasn’t played with a lot of children, this can be an easy way to learn the social skills to get along with others.  Family members are easier because you already know them, and they are less forgiving if your child decides to bite their child.

Helping your child learn to make new friends is a great way to give them the confidence they need in school and throughout life.  Using these tips and others can help make finding new friends easier.

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Back When I Was A Kid…

February 10th, 2010 - 10:37 pm ≡ by admin ≡ in parenting
kids

When I Was a Kid

We must eliminate from our minds a few phrases when we are making decisions about how we will be raising our kids. They are the sayings like: “When I was a kid…” and “If I had done that when I was a kid, my dad would have…” or “Back when we were in school they used to…”

Now, this may sound odd to you coming on the heels of our last article where we took the stand that as a nation, we need to “recapture the sound of our kids among us just like we used to up at old Fairview Hall.” There is an important distinction here. As parents we must never allow ourselves to fall into the trap of using “because it was done before,” or “it has always been that way,” or “that was the way my parents did it,” as the sole justification for our actions with our kids. It is imperative that we have a sound behavioral, moral, spiritual, ethical, or legal justifications for the actions we are teaching to or demanding of our children. We must be able to explain to our kids in a very logical way, why we are asking them to behave in a particular manner. In essence, we must not only decide: 1) WHAT it is that we want our kids to do but we must also decide, 2) WHY we want them to do it! “Because it was done to me,” is never a good enough reason to repeat it with our children.

There have been a ton of mistakes made in the past and we are doomed to repeat them if we are not careful to think long and hard about the justification for duplicating those actions with our kids. Following are a couple examples to demonstrate what we are talking about.

Two historical events demonstrate the obvious problems with doing what has always been done before. Slavery was common in early America. We certainly would not advocate the continuation of that practice today simply because it was done before. Neither would we teach our children that women should be second-class citizens in the United States even though they were not even legally recognized under the Constitution until the 19th Amendment was adopted in the early 20th century. Simply saying that women should not vote only because they never had in the past was a ludicrous idea.

Likewise, it is foolish for us to tell our children that they should wear certain types of clothing simply because that has been an appropriate style in the past. The same goes for hairstyles and many other standards and customs for behavior. Let’s look at establishing dress codes for kids.

We are not proposing abandoning all standards of dress for young people but rather, we are saying that we ought to make the standards logical and explainable in a reasoned sort of way and not just on the “If I had dressed that way my Dad would have killed me,” sort of an explanation.

We can have dress codes… but why do we have them is the critical question. Nobody, in their right mind would say that we scrap any sense of awareness of how our kids dress themselves. However, dressing in a certain way because a previous generation did is rather silly to impose upon our kids (unless, of course, we would like to go back and begin dressing like our forefathers who wrote that Constitution did, simply because “that’s the way they used to do it in this country.”) Hey, let’s get a few pictures of ourselves as teens and we can readily see that even we had some rather strange ways of dressing by today’s standards.

The issue is “why?” Why are we asking our kids to dress in certain ways?

Here is a possible discussion:

“But Dad, why can’t I dye my hair blue (wear spandex shorts to church, wear this provocative Jennifer Lopez top, use four letter words at the mall like the other kids, etc.)?”

“Well, my child, you probably could do that and in a perfect world it really wouldn’t matter. But, we do not live in a perfect world. We live in a world that has a few flaws: one of them being that most people in this world make a ton of snap judgments based upon some rather narrow preconceived ideas. It is a fact that most of the people you meet will not be able to see beyond the blue hair (or loud dress, etc.) to get to know you. Many of those same people are in a position to control the circumstances of your life or pass judgments about you that have a huge impact upon your life. For the same reason that it would be a bad idea to wear a ball cap to a funeral, it is a bad idea to dye your hair blue… most people would interpret it wrongly. A ball cap at a funeral would be viewed by most as being extremely disrespectful of the person being honored by the funeral. Blue hair would likewise be interpreted by most people as a sign of disrespect for others.”

“But dad, that’s just the point, I’m trying to show my individuality. I don’t want to just be like everyone else.”

“Great son, I am all in favor of you being a one-of-a-kind individual, but anyone can dye their hair. Why not distinguish yourself by being truly excellent at something? Or why not try to undo some terrible wrong done by society? Why not distinguish yourself by making the world a better place? I’d love to help you. What is the cause that you would like to choose? If the only way that you can come up with to make yourself different is dying your hair, I would be disappointed in you because you are such a unique person with so much to offer.”

Let us, as parents, become their teachers and give them some good solid reasons to choose to adjust their behavior in positive and productive ways simply because it makes sense to them.

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What To Do If Your Child Is A Victim of Bullying

February 10th, 2010 - 10:14 pm ≡ by admin ≡ in bully, bullying
What To Do If Your Child Is A Victim of Bullying

Victim of Bullying

One of parent’s worst nightmares is to find out that their child is being picked on in school. Some parents view bullying as normal behavior that is no big deal, and while many cases of bullying do resolve themselves, other times a victim of bullying can suffer long term affects. Parents should not take bullying lightly, but at the same time, overreacting is also not a good idea. If your child is a victim of bullying, you should assess the seriousness of the situation and react accordingly. Taking steps to stop the bullying is the best thing a parent can do with out singling out their child.

If your child comes to you and says they are the victim of bullying, or you think that they may be the victim of bullying, talk with them to see what is going on. Children are often reluctant to talk about being the victim of bullying so it is important to reassure them that talking about it will only help and that you care about their well-being. Many kids think that telling their parents or teachers about being a victim of bullying will only make it worse so be sure to take positive steps to stop it that will not instigate the problem.

Children are often afraid that they bully will find out that they told on them and bully them even more severely. While this is a legitimate fear, taking the proper action will not result in this.

You should find out what your child has tried to do to stop the bullying and give them other ways to stop it. Often if the victim of bullying reacts in the right way, the bully will stop. If your child is being bullied but the situation is not putting them at any risk of physical, emotional, or self esteem damage, the best thing to do is to give your child advice on how to stop bullying themselves and let them handle it. Sometimes ignoring a bully, using humor, or just remaining calm will stop bullying. When children react confidently and assert themselves to a bully, he will often stop without adult intervention.

If your child is a victim of bullying and it is severe enough to cause physical, emotional or self-esteem damage, then you and your child should contact the school and inform your child’s teacher and principal what is going on. Schools have no tolerance for bullying and if they are aware of what is going on will work with parents and students to create a solution. Confronting the parent of your child’s bully may or may not be a good idea so it is best to talk with the school first. Sometimes a bully’s parents will be unaware of what is going on and will be willing to help. Other times a bullies parents will deny that there is a problem or not want to help. In any case, the bully needs to be stopped and some sort of positive action should be taken.


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Does my child have autism?

February 10th, 2010 - 9:57 pm ≡ by admin ≡ in autism
autism

Autism child. by AFP PHOTO/LIU Jin

Autism is a popular topic in the news right now. Several celebrities have came out and told the world about their Autistic children. This is causing more people to be aware of Autism, and to question whether their child is Autistic. Nobody wants to think that something could be wrong with their child. Then they watch a news report, or hear someone talking about a child that has Autism and they start to question their own child.

The symptoms of Autism are many, and they vary in each child. Just because you see some symptoms of Autism in your child does not mean they are Autistic. There are other medical conditions that have the same symptoms. Some children are late on their developmental milestones. Each child develops at their own rate. Just because your child is not talking by the time they are one does not mean for certain they have Autism.

If you have concerns about your child’s development speak to their healthcare provider. They can tell you if further testing should be considered. A lot of parents try to self diagnoses their children. This can be a big mistake. It takes several qualified medical professionals to diagnose a child with Autism. This will not be done with one appointment at the pediatrician. You will have a team of health care providers evaluating your child. The earlier you have your child evaluated the better the chances of treatment helping the child.

Try not to compare your child with other children. Each child is an individual. They grow and develop at their own rate. While they may be late at some milestones, they may excel at others. Sometimes a parent has a gut instinct that tells them there is something wrong. If you feel that your child is having problems and the doctor does not agree, get a second opinion. Parents have to be the voice for their child.

Finding out if your child is Autistic can take time. It can be a life changing experience for both the child and the parent. Once you find out if your child is Autistic you can begin the process of treatment, or finding out what is causing your child’s problems if it is not Autism.

Signs that your child needs to be evaluated further include.
1. No eye contact
2. No communication. This can be sounds, or words.
3. Shows no emotions.
4. Does not pretend play.
5. Uses repetitive movements.
6. Have a hard time with schedule changes.
7. Do not respond to you when you are talking to them. This can be with looks or words.
8. Does things over and over again.
9. Loses skills they knew.
10. Develops an attachment to a certain food, or smell. These are sensory issues.

If you see these signs in your child talk to the doctor about them. Getting a diagnosis and treatment plan are very important. At the same time do not worry over every little thing. Some children just take a little longer to reach their milestones.


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Healthy Eating for Kids

February 10th, 2010 - 6:09 pm ≡ by admin ≡ in food

Healthy Food

Chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese seem to be the mainstream diet for many children.  Parents often struggle to get their children to eat healthy foods.  Our family started on a new diet.  We switched our white bread for wheat and started stocking the fridge with fruits and vegetables.  The kids rebelled for a while, but now they are used to it.  They fight for the last strawberry.  Here are some suggestions to help you make the transition to healthy eating in your home.

Monitor how many snacks your children eat in a day.  The rule at our house is a snack at 10:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m.  I don’t have whiny kids wanting treats all day, because they know when they can have them.  However, if they want something healthy like an apple, a bagel, or some fruit, they can have it without asking.


Add more vegetables to the dinner table.  Try a variety of vegetables, and keep trying them even when your kids say they don’t like them.  Taste buds change over time.  Have them try one bite each time you serve something they don’t like.

Make food more fun.  Serving dinner that your kids can adapt to their own tastes makes dinner more fun, and gets them to eat better.  Try taco soup with a base to include tomatoes and pinto beans and let them add their own ingredients: cheese, sour cream, chips, olives, corn, etc.  They probably won’t notice that there were tomatoes in there.

Healthy eating takes time but is worth it in the end.  Your kids will adjust and eventually won’t miss the candy and chips that they used to munch on.  And everyone will benefit from the change.

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