Child Self Esteem

Your child also benefits greatly from honest and positive praise. Find something about them to praise each day. You could even give your child a task you know they can complete and then praise them for a job well done after they’re finished. Show your child that positive acts merit positive praise.

When your child’s feeling sad, angry or depressed, communicate openly, honestly and patiently with them. Listen to them without judging or criticizing. They may not fully understand why they feel the way they do, so the opportunity to communicate with you about it may be what’s needed to help them sort through a difficult situation. Suggest positive behaviors and options as solutions, and make sure to leave that door of communication open so they know the next time they feel badly, they can come to you for help and know that you won’t judge or punish them for how they’re feeling.

Teach your child the importance of setting goals and developing a plan to meet that goal and complete that task. Small projects are the best to start off with in the beginning. Ensure that it’s an appropriate task for your child, and not too complex. Don’t only give praise at the end of the project, but praise their accomplishments during the project as well.

Most importantly, tell your child “I love you” each and every day – many times throughout the day, in fact. When they’ve behaved badly, remind yourself that it’s not them you don’t like, only their behavior. Tuck short, sweet notes in their lunchboxes or coat pockets, or even send them a card in the mail. Soon, they’ll learn to say “I love you” just as easily and honestly in return.

Temper Tantrum

Even the best behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They’re equally common in boys and girls and usually occur from age 1 to age 3. Some children may experience regular tantrums, whereas for other children, tantrums may be rare. Some kids are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.

Learn more how to stop tantrums in 3 easy steps, here

Toddlers are trying to master the world and when they aren’t able to accomplish a task, they often use one of the only tools at their disposal for venting frustration – a tantrum. There are several basic causes of tantrums that are familiar to parents everywhere: The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are often the result of children’s frustration with the world. Frustration is an unavoidable part of kids’ lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work.

Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.

Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach, which will make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one’s short attention span by offering a replacement for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. And choose your battles: consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn’t. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst.

Make sure your child isn’t acting up simply because he or she isn’t getting enough attention. To a child, negative attention (a parent’s response to a tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to establish a habit of catching your child being good (“time in”), which means rewarding your little one with attention and praise for positive behavior. This will teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy happy and proud, and they’ll be anxious to do it again and again.

Keep in mind the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child succeed in life. If children don’t have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it’s almost impossible for them to succeed. A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.

Schools teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it’s unlikely they will show it anywhere else.

How can you show respect to your child? If you do something wrong, admit it and apologize. Don’t embarrass, insult or make fun of your child. Compliment them and let your child make choices and take responsibility. Listen to your child’s side of the story before making a decision on an issue or problem. Be polite and use “please” and “thank you” when asking them to do things. Knock before entering your child’s room. Keep promises. Show your child that you mean what you say. And give your child your full attention.

And most important, teach your children that respect is earned. Make sure that you are leading by example and modeling respectful behavior. Be a law-abiding citizen. Show concern for your environment, animals and other people. Openly and honestly discuss exampled of witnessed disrespect.

In addition, teach your child to respect themselves. Self-respect is one of the most important forms of respect. Once we respect ourselves, it is easier to respect others.
Help them set and achieve goals. Encourage honesty and teach them that people make mistakes, and that they are the best way to learn.

Most importantly, praise your child often for good deeds, behaviors or traits, and tell them you love them at least several times each day. You’re sure to raise a child capable of giving and gaining respect.

Kids Motivated

I remember when I met my step-daughter who is called Taryn. She was five years of age and quite a character. I felt a bit sorry for her however as she spent a lot of time at a childminders. The childminder would take her and pick her up from school. On some days her mother would not be able to collect her until around 8pm.

After a few months of dating her mother, I offered to help out by stating that I could take Taryn to school and pick her up. Taryn said that she wanted me to do this and it was all agreed.

Up to this point Taryn had never really been made to do her homework, either by her mother who was very busy and often tired or by the childminder.

When we arrived home from school on the first day of me picking her up, I asked Taryn if she had any homework. She passed me her reading folder. In the folder was a book which she was supposed to read. Come on then Taryn lets read this book together, I said. I don’t do homework, Taryn replied. I stated to her that that was the past and that from now on she would be doing it.

Taryn had a bit of strop and started to cry. Your not my dad, you can not make me do it, she continued. I basically had to be very strong and made her read the book. There were a number of words which she could not read and I wrote them on a list. We then spent around ten minutes where I attempted to teach her the words. She found all of this very boring.

I then told her that we would now play a game, which is called the mouthing game. She would pick a word from the list and just mouth the word without making a sound. If I could guess what she had mouthed, she would get a point and then it would be my turn.

Taryn really enjoyed this game and on the way home from school on the next day, she asked if we could play the game again. Of course we can but we need to read the book first, I said. Taryn replied that this was fine. This is one example of many games we play when doing homework or any other task which the children see as mundane.

I also compliment both children and tell them how much I love and am proud of them at regular intervals. I give them rewards when they have a good school report and encourage them to always give things ago even if they believe that they might fail in the specific task. In my opinion there is no such thing as failure if you have tried your best.

Child Reading

How did it come to this? Why does your child dislike reading? Basically, it comes down to one thing: the love for reading was never ignited or have been extinguished. Here are 8 ways to kill a child’s love for reading:

1. Reading sessions are more like drilling sessions. Don’t quiz and test children when reading. It’s ok to point things out and ask questions to promote thinking but make sure it stays FUN. Don’t turn it into a pressurized teaching session. Yes, you hope that they learn something from the reading but don’t make that your main objective. Read to enjoy the story. Learning usually takes place when the teaching is not so obvious.

2. Television, video and computer games takes center stage when it comes to relaxation and entertainment. These strongly distracts children from reading. There needs to be a limit to these activities if you want to convince them that books can be entertaining too.

3. Reading books that are too difficult for their reading level. It is very discouraging for children to open a book and not know how to read many of the words. Where is the joy when you struggle to get through a page? Know your child’s reading ability and get books appropriate to their level.

4. Reading sessions turn into screaming and put down sessions. Parents need to hold realistic expectations of their children. Control frustrations when children don’t excel as fast as you wish they would. Watch your tongue and avoid derogatory remarks such as “Can’t you remember that word, we just read it,” or “I’ve told you many times already. What’s wrong with you?”

5. Reading books that are of no interest to them. How do children regard these books? BORING! To a young boy, reading a book on dinosaurs may be more captivating than reading a book about Dick and Jane. Draw your teenagers into reading with books that they can relate too. I know when I was that age I was game for books on love, romance, and friendship. Capitalize on your child’s hobbies and interests.

6. Forced reading. for older children, sometimes homework is in the form of assigned readings. Usually a report has to be handed in at the end. Although this is done under good intentions, it is easy for a child to regard reading as a chore to be done. Very likely too, the assigned reading is not of their choice and therefore, not of their liking. Reading in this situation is like dragging feet in the mud.

7. Peer pressure. This is another factor that affects older children. Kids can be cruel with their branding and teasing. The term “nerds” and “geeks” are usually thrown at those that indulge in books. Your child may very well choose to shun books just to fit in and be one of the “cool kids.”

8. Limiting what children read. Imagine if you loved sci-fi books but was told you could only read classics. What a damper that would be for you right? Be open to what your child wants to read. You may think your child has moved passed picture books but he wants it anyway. Let him. Or you may think reading comic books have less educational value then reading well known novels. Remember, it’s a book in their hands nonetheless. So, whether it be fiction, non-fiction, picture books, comic books, magazines etc… be supportive.

You want to get your child reading, you have to first show that it is fun and enjoyable. Don’t push too hard to get your child to learn to read or read to learn. Only when there is love for reading can the learning begin.

Kids Read

We all know that learning to read is important, but as parents what do we do to facilitate this milestone?

Reading to your child has many benefits one of which is simply having time to snuggle together.
Here are 10 reasons to read to your child.

1.When you read to your child, he/she will learn that reading is important to you, therefore reading will become important to him/her.

2.The more your child hears sounds, the better he/she will process these sounds into words. When a child is preschool/kindergarten age the listening word starts to become the written word.

3.Reading has a calming effect on a restless or fussy baby. Who doesn’t want an easy way to calm a fussy baby?

4.Reading is a wonderful before bed routine. Studies have shown that a child will thrive in an atmosphere in which routines are present.

5.Reading will help to develop your child’s imagination. Have you ever gotten lost in a good book? Your child can do the same while you are reading to him/her.

6.Reading will foster your child’s ability to listen and pay attention. With all the problems we here about concerning attention spans this is a great way to avoid that.

7.Reading to a young child will teach him/her the correct way to hold a book and turn the pages.

8.Reading to your child will develop in him/her the desire to become a reader.

9.Teachers will thank you

10.When a child is read a personalized story book, he/she will be able to recognize his/her name in print at an early age.

Isn’t it exciting to think that you can have such an effect on your child’s ability to read just by reading to him/her? You have the power to develop a life long joy of reading and learning in your child. WOW! Just read.

Teaching Child to Read

It is never too early to begin teaching your child to read, or at least laying the foundation for early literacy skills, and it can definitely be left too late!

If you are not sure then think about this. Statistically, more American children suffer long-term life-long harm from the process of learning to read than from parental abuse, accidents, and all other childhood diseases and disorders combined.  In purely economic terms, reading related difficulties cost our nation more than the war on terrorism, crime, and drugs combined.

Reading problems are a further challenge to our world by contribute significantly to the perpetuation of socio-economic, racial and ethnic inequities. However it is not just poor and minority children who struggle with reading. According to the 2002 national report card on reading by the National Assessment of  Educational Progress (NAEP), most of our children (64%) are less than proficient in reading even after 12 years of our attempts to teach them.

Even without knowing these worrisome statistics we are aware that reading proficiency is essential to success–not only academically but in life. As the American Federal of Teachers states: “No other skill taught in school and learned by school children is more important than reading. It is the gateway to all other knowledge. Teaching students to read by the end of third grade is the single most important task assigned to elementary schools. Those who learn to read with ease in the early grades have a foundation on which to build new knowledge. Those who do not are doomed to repeated cycles of frustration and failure.”

More than any other subject or skill, our children’s futures are determined by how well they learn to read.

Reading is absolutely fundamental. It has been said so often that it has become meaningless but it does not negate its truth. In our society, in our world, the inability to read consigns children to failure in school and consigns adults to the lowest strata of job and life opportunities.

And just when we thought the stakes could get no higher, over the last decade, educational research findings have discovered that how well children learn to read has other, even more life-shaping, consequences. Most children begin learning to read during a profoundly formative phase in their development. As they begin learning to read, they’re also learning to think abstractly. They are learning to learn and they’re experiencing emotionally charged feelings about who they are and how well they are learning.

What does that mean? Most children who struggle with reading blame themselves. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, the process of learning to read teaches these children to feel ashamed of themselves–ashamed of their minds–ashamed of how they learn.

And the sad truth is that they have nothing to be ashamed about. As Dr. Grover Whitehurst, Director Institute of Education Sciences, Assistant Secretary of Education, U.S. Department of Education (2003) says: “Reading failure for nearly every child is not the child’s failure; it’s the failure of policy makers, the failure of schools, the failure of teachers and the failure of parents. We need to reconceptualize what it means to learn to read and who’s responsible for its success if we’re going to deal with the problem.”

Do you want to wait for the policy makers to find a solution? Do you trust that they will? Or would you rather make sure that the job is done right by taking charge yourself?

I know what my answer is because I know first-hand from witnessing my brother’s life-long difficulties what an irrevocable impact a reading struggle early in life can make. It can mark your child for life!

I’m not promising that your child can learn to read early or that they won’t experience difficulty. After all, there is a significant number of children suffering from learning disabilities. These children will struggle. However, early instruction may ease their suffering and make the struggle a bit easier to handle. At the very least you will know that you did everything you could to help your child-and your child will know that as well. That cannot be wasted effort!

And you have a head-start on every educator because you know your child–herr temperament, her strengths, and her weaknesses. You are the person best equipped to begin teaching your child.

So we come back to the central question-when should your child’s reading education begin?  Traditional American Education models call for teaching a child to read between the ages of 7-9. Obviously we cannot begin teaching a newborn how to read. However, we can begin in infancy to lay the foundation for literacy which will in the end make your child a stronger reader.

Literacy is defined as an individual’s ability to read, write, and speak in English, compute, and solve problems, at levels of proficiency necessary to function on the job, in the family of the individual, and in society.

Many of the simple things we do at home with our children support the development of literacy so you are already working to make your child more literate even if you are not actively beginning the process to teach your child to read. This includes simple activities such as reading to your child, reciting nursery rhymes, and singing songs.

But what if you do want to become a more active participant? There are many things you can do and it doesn’t mean you need to invest hundreds of dollars in an expensive reading program. You don’t actually need to spend much money at all to teach your child to read at home-or at the least prepare your child well for the beginning of reading instruction in school. Most parents already have the tools you need in your home to begin today!

This is why I stress that it is never too early to begin-if you work with your child’s development and make learning fun and interesting as well as challenging.

My essential strategy as an educator is to create learning opportunities and then to get out of the way of my students so they can learn. Learning is an active experience that should fully engage the participant. I believe that when I am “teaching” that the student is only passively involved in the learning process. I see myself much more as a guide and a resource than a teacher in my classroom. I have taken this approach with my son’s education and it has been very successful.

We have various learning toys and aids in our home and there are many lessons taking place each day (at home and away) but I have never drilled him on facts or even used flashcards.

If you can find ways to make learning fun and exciting-something that your child actually wants to do with you-then begin as soon as possible.

Your child will have plenty of opportunity for dry lectures, mind-numbing repetitive drills, and boring lessons as they grow older so don’t even go there. If you can’t make learning fun and more like play than work then don’t even go there. Trust your child’s education to the professionals and hope for the best. Remember, there are many wonderful teachers out there so you child is not doomed to failure even if you don’t intervene. However, the system is not a success and it is likely that at some point during the process your child may be adversely effected by it! That’s why I take an active role in my child’s education.

Grateful

Here are some easy ways to incorporate instilling the virtue of gratitude in your children. As you go through your day, show them, the wonderful events going on behind the scenes that we all most usually take for granted.

1. Set the Right Example.

It is better if you teach them by using the appropriate words at the right times yourself.  How many parents do you see saying “Thank You” to there two or three year old children. It is through example that kids learn best, and teaching gratitude is no different than anything else in that respect. “Children Learn What They Live!”

2. Teach It Through Role Playing.

You can play games with your children that implement the virtue of gratitude. Play the second chair and practice showing them how it feels to be on the receiving end of an unexpected, “Thank You!”

3. Teach by Showing Them How to Be of Service to Others.

Even simple things such as holding a door for an elderly person, are small ways we can show them how others appreciate us and our actions. It is also a way to put a smile and a lift into a strangers day, which always creates a good feeling within the person who is doing the kind act as well.
You would be surprised how many times a simple gesture like this can occur in your normal day activities, in places like grocery stores, doctors offices, or shopping trips.

4. Make a List.

An easy way to get them to make lists of what they are thankful for is to use “The Daily Gratitude Journal Software” You will find a link to this software in the resource box at the end of this article. There are two versions, one written in “kid language and displaying an output of “kid fonts” and an adult version as well.
5. Teach Gratitude While Going Without Things.

Recently my single family of three kids and myself had to deal with a full 24 hours of no power. This outage caused by a wind storm, was an ideal opportunity for me to teach them what we had to be thankful for that we normally took for granted. Simple things like, lights, heat, and being able to watch Tv, were just a few that quickly came to mind.

6. Show them How to Be Thankful for the Little Things in Life.

As in the previous example, although, most of us would not consider heat and light little things, they are things that are always there for our kids, so they are simple things that they usually don’t pay much attention too.

Other simple examples could include; having food to eat all the time, friends to play with, and having plenty of toys and school supplies. Showing them examples of third world country children who go without these things is a way of teaching them appreciation for what they have, too.

7. Teach them to see the good in someone they don’t like.

You can even use a negative experience to teach them the value of being grateful. When I think of this, immediately what comes to my mind is the Walt Disney movie, “PollyAnna” where she played the “Glad” game and found many things to be grateful for in every situation she encountered. Renting this video, watching and discussing it with them would be a great, gratitude building quality time family activity.

As you go through your day, show them, the wonderful events going on behind the scenes that we all most usually take for granted. Things like the police, who protect us, the firemen who are there for those who need them, and the clerk at the grocery store doing her job to help us get our food. Simple thank you comments to all of these daily activities is the easiest way to role model appreciation that they will learn and emulate.

Teaching Responsibility

It is so important to teach your kids responsibility, but many parents fail in this area.  I watch parents that will not allow their children to do anything because they don’t want to deal with the mess, they feel their child will fail, or they don’t want to take the time.  Yet, a responsible child needs these skills to be successful in school and to build a strong sense of self.

There are many things you can do to teach your child responsibility.  This is an important part of parenting.  We will briefly discuss a few ideas.
Give your child chores or things around the house that they must do.  Start a small child out by having them make their bed and put their toys away.  Give older children jobs that must be done every day, or every week.  Giving them work to do around the house helps them belong more to the family and the home.

Find a pet that your child would like and help them learn to care for it.  This teaches them to be responsible for another living thing.  There are many different choices in pets and many pet stores will help you make that decision.
Make your child be responsible for the consequences of their actions.  Allow them to make choices for themselves.  Understanding that there are rewards and punishments for their actions helps to develop social skills they need.

As our children grow, we can continue to provide opportunities where our children can learn and develop.  Teaching responsibility now will help them make correct choices later in life.  This is such an important skill to learn, and one that is easy to teach if we take the time.

Teaching Kids about Money

My younger sister can’t save money for anything.  If she gets $20, she goes out and gets her nails done, without any idea how she will pay for the upkeep.  Watching her made me realize that I needed to teach my children about money.

Give your children an allowance that is age appropriate.  For our kids, they get half of their age in allowance.  So, on their birthday, they always get a 50 cent raise.  We provide chores during the summer and expect them to help out when needed during the school year.  Set some rules for earning the allowance and an amount for your children.

Now that they are earning some money, teach them about saving it.  Many banks have savings accounts for children.  Help them decide how much money they want to have to spend and how much to put away.  Make them a chart that keeps track of their money so they can watch it grow.

Let them spend some of it and be silly.  Part of the fun of having money is spending it.  I had a friend who would not allow their child to spend any of his money.  He had over $100 in the bank but couldn’t use it.  Letting your kids spend their money teaches them the value of things and how to use money wisely.      Make sure your kids only spend what they have.  Don’t loan money against the allowance they will receive.  Our boss doesn’t give a paycheck advance, kids need to learn this too.

Teaching your kids about money will provide them a valuable tool for when they are older and get their first job.  Make spending and saving money a success for them.

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