Angry Child

Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it’s important that they be home from their friend’s home at a certain time or why they aren’t allowed to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks “Why?” or “Why not?” when they are told they can’t play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you’ve set forth, simply explain to them that “because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you.” You should avoid using the term, “Because I said so,” as that only adds to the child’s frustration and confusion.

Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation. When they question “Why?” or “Why not?” it’s best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning. “I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentist’s office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we can’t be late.” It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule. “If you are not home by 10 p.m., you’ll be grounded from going to your friend’s house for a week.” Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.

Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker. So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it’s their way of understanding their world around them.

Teaching Responsibility

It is so important to teach your kids responsibility, but many parents fail in this area.  I watch parents that will not allow their children to do anything because they don’t want to deal with the mess, they feel their child will fail, or they don’t want to take the time.  Yet, a responsible child needs these skills to be successful in school and to build a strong sense of self.

There are many things you can do to teach your child responsibility.  This is an important part of parenting.  We will briefly discuss a few ideas.
Give your child chores or things around the house that they must do.  Start a small child out by having them make their bed and put their toys away.  Give older children jobs that must be done every day, or every week.  Giving them work to do around the house helps them belong more to the family and the home.

Find a pet that your child would like and help them learn to care for it.  This teaches them to be responsible for another living thing.  There are many different choices in pets and many pet stores will help you make that decision.
Make your child be responsible for the consequences of their actions.  Allow them to make choices for themselves.  Understanding that there are rewards and punishments for their actions helps to develop social skills they need.

As our children grow, we can continue to provide opportunities where our children can learn and develop.  Teaching responsibility now will help them make correct choices later in life.  This is such an important skill to learn, and one that is easy to teach if we take the time.