Make quality time with your child

But you’re asking yourself, “Where am I going to find the time? My schedule’s crazy enough as it is!” Well, for something as important as your child, you need to start digging around in that crazy schedule and find the time. Prioritizing is the key.

Here’s some helpful suggestions on how to make the most of your time and find quality time where you least expect it.

Look at your household chore list and decide which ones can be left undone or be done imperfectly in order to make more family time. You might also want to consider leaving certain things until after your child has gone to bed to make the most of your time together.

Turn some of your everyday routines together count. Sing some favorite silly songs on the way to daycare, or make that drive to and from school a great opportunity to discuss what’s happening in your child’s life.

If you have more than one child, realize that each of them needs your individual attention. You may really have to juggle things around to make this happen, but try to be flexible and creative when spending time with each of your kids. And no matter what, don’t skip those individual times with each child. By doing so you show them they’re lower down on the priority list than the dry cleaning or the grocery shopping.

Children thrive on stability and routines, so plan your quality times so that they can take place regularly. Maybe you can walk the dog together on weekend morning, take a shopping excursion together, have a scheduled night each week for a sit-down dinner together, or make a trip to the park.

Child Self Improvement

In contrast, for children who do not feel important or cherished have low self-esteem, and challenges can become sources of major anxiety and frustration. Children who think poorly of themselves have a hard time finding solving problems, and may become passive, withdrawn, or depressed.

You are the biggest influence in your child feeling important, valued and worthy. Remember to praise your child for a job well done, and also for putting for a valiant effort. Praise the good traits they naturally possess, and help them find ways to learn from their mistakes and failures. Be honest and sincere in your praise. Help them realize that you also suffer from self doubt and can make mistakes from time to time, but that you know that you are important, valued and loved. When you nurture your own self -esteem and importance, your child will learn to do the same, so be sure to lead by example and steer clear of self-depreciating yourself or engaging in activities that lower your self-worth or importance.

Your child may have inaccurate or irrational beliefs about themselves, their abilities or their traits. Accentuate the positive about your child, and encourage your child to set realistic expectations and standards for themselves. Help them identify traits or skills they’d like to improve and help them come up with a game plan for accomplishing that goal. Encourage your child to become involved in cooperative activities that foster a sense of teamwork and accomplishment.

Through these and other positive, affirming activities, your child is sure to develop a strong sense of self importance, value and worth which will carry into their adult years.

Child Self Esteem

Your child also benefits greatly from honest and positive praise. Find something about them to praise each day. You could even give your child a task you know they can complete and then praise them for a job well done after they’re finished. Show your child that positive acts merit positive praise.

When your child’s feeling sad, angry or depressed, communicate openly, honestly and patiently with them. Listen to them without judging or criticizing. They may not fully understand why they feel the way they do, so the opportunity to communicate with you about it may be what’s needed to help them sort through a difficult situation. Suggest positive behaviors and options as solutions, and make sure to leave that door of communication open so they know the next time they feel badly, they can come to you for help and know that you won’t judge or punish them for how they’re feeling.

Teach your child the importance of setting goals and developing a plan to meet that goal and complete that task. Small projects are the best to start off with in the beginning. Ensure that it’s an appropriate task for your child, and not too complex. Don’t only give praise at the end of the project, but praise their accomplishments during the project as well.

Most importantly, tell your child “I love you” each and every day – many times throughout the day, in fact. When they’ve behaved badly, remind yourself that it’s not them you don’t like, only their behavior. Tuck short, sweet notes in their lunchboxes or coat pockets, or even send them a card in the mail. Soon, they’ll learn to say “I love you” just as easily and honestly in return.

Angry Child

Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it’s important that they be home from their friend’s home at a certain time or why they aren’t allowed to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks “Why?” or “Why not?” when they are told they can’t play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you’ve set forth, simply explain to them that “because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you.” You should avoid using the term, “Because I said so,” as that only adds to the child’s frustration and confusion.

Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation. When they question “Why?” or “Why not?” it’s best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning. “I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentist’s office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we can’t be late.” It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule. “If you are not home by 10 p.m., you’ll be grounded from going to your friend’s house for a week.” Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.

Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker. So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it’s their way of understanding their world around them.

Playing together

It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond. We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences. However, responding means being receptive to our child’s feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us. By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid. But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where they’re coming from. Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own. Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel.

It’s crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention. Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child. Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem.

Don’t discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic. Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.

Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations. By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from. Remember, respond – don’t react.

stutter

There are many children who have problems with their speech from an early age. In this article I am going to write about the speech impediment known as stuttering.

Stuttering normally starts for people in childhood and is often referred to as a childhood stutter. This is often a very worrying time for parents and the child and it is difficult to know where to look for help. There are many different views and advice given to the parents. Some people advise to ignore the problem as it is likely to go away of its own accord in the future and that to over highlight the situation can do more damage than good. Others suggest an early course of speech therapy.

Stuttering comes in many forms. Family and friends may not even be aware that a person they know has a stuttering problem. The person who has the stutter may be a closet stutterer who is very good at hiding it. They do this by avoiding certain words or by finding alternative words. This takes a lot of effort though and it comes as more of a shock to people when the person does actually stutter.

Not all people who stutter are able to do this however and have what is seen as a more severe stutter.

A stutter would normally occur more when a person is:

under pressure

very tired

meeting new people

speaking in an uncomfortable situation

asking questions, for example asking for directions

introducing people

Stuttering therapy:

People who have a stutter have different options when seeking help. Most people would first try a speech therapist or speech pathologist. Alternatively they can attend a speech course which can be in a group or on a one to one basis.

I personally prefer and advise one to one stutter courses as I believe every person who has a stutter is an individual and has their own individual type stutter.

Friends

Friends are an important part of childhood and you want to make sure that your child develops good friendships early on.  It’s easiest to make the best choices for your children while they are young.

Have your children invite their friends to play at your house.  This gives you a chance to see how they play together and how they interact with other members of your family.  Become acquainted with their parents also, and you will find that this will help you understand their family situation.  Help your child to understand what your values are and to recognize the same values in friends that they make.

Teach your kids values that are important to you, like being honest, and make sure they understand that it applies to friends too.  I had a daughter who came to me because a friend wanted her to lie to me about going to the mall.  She told me what she really wanted to do, and what her friend thought she should say.  After her friend went home that day, we talked about what makes a good friend.  She decided that she didn’t want a friend that was going to try to get her to lie.

Realize that all children are different.  You might have a child that has fifteen friends and makes new friends easily.  Then you might have another child who only has one or two friends, but has a closer friendship with them.  Recognize what works for your child and help them develop the relationships that fit with their own personality.

Helping your child understand how to be a good friend will help them recognize good friends also.  It is so much easier to influence your children while they are young.  Take advantage of these opportunities while you can.

Learn How to talk to your kids

Every parent dreads being asked questions by their children that they aren’t ready to answer.  Learn how to talk to your kids and develop the relationship that you will need when they get older.

There are some basic guidelines that parents can follow to talk better to their children.  Here are a few.

When your child asks a question, find out why they are asking before you go into a long winded explanation.  Sometimes we misunderstand what they are asking.  I had a daughter ask me what a certain word meant.  I went on and tried to tactfully explain this word.  After I finished, she mentioned that she saw the word in the name of a lotion I had, and just wondered what it meant.  I could have come up with a much simpler answer if I would have understood the question.

Allow your kids to have an opinion and express it.  Try not to make them feel like their opinion is less valuable because you know more than they do.  Take the time to listen to them and understand where they are coming from.

Always talk to them at their age appropriate level.  Don’t talk down to them just because they are a child.  I had a nurse at the doctor’s office that talked baby talk to my two year old daughter, who just looked at the women with confusion.  Children are smarter than we give them credit for.

A big part of learning to talk to our children is learning how to listen.  Following these suggestions and paying attention to your kids will help you develop the relationship that you want.  When they are older, that open communication becomes essential.  Develop that relationship now.